Nobody cares about you. Why that's a good thing.
How many times did you not do something or enjoy something because you were wondering what other people might think of you? How many ideas and opportunities did you discard or miss because others might not like them? How often did you change your clothes to wear something appropriate instead of the comfy clothes you would feel good in? How often didn’t you go somewhere because there was a pimple on your nose or you had a bad hair day, or you weren’t thin enough to show yourself in your swimsuit?
Countless times we let what we think others could judge stand in the way of what we want. Therefore we are missing out on a lot of great opportunities. No matter how old we get, the stuff we worry about might change, but the amount doesn’t decrease. And it spreads all over. From private, to social, to professional. There is no area in our life where we don’t wonder, where we don’t fear what others might think of us.
That’s normal, that’s natural. The only thing we can do about it is to become clear about something. Something vital that can change your whole approach to life.
Nobody cares about you.
Let me repeat this: Nobody cares about you!
Sounds horrible, doesn’t it? Of course, there are people who like you, who love you and want all the best for you. Your friends, your family, your partner, your peers, maybe even random people like me. We want you to be happy and have a wonderful life.
But instead of appreciating all the great people around you and enjoying their company and their genuine interest in you, you live inside your head and wonder about everything negative they could think of you.
And it’s not only you, but it’s also all of us.
In our head, we believe about what others might think about us. And because we only see our worst sides we think others see them too. And only our worst.
For example with this website and business of mine. I love helping people and think it could be of keen interest to some folks to read what I have to write and talk with me about life and all its perks. But at the same time, I am afraid that what I have to say others might judge. Or I am the only person in the world that feels this way. Or people make fun of the things I am straight about. All the worries in my head won’t stop spinning and it can drive me crazy sometimes.
So here are two ideas how we can stop this. We can go on and think about what people might or might not think. Or, maybe the better way (but who am I to judge), we could stop trying to figure out what people might think. We could go out there and just enjoy life and try to understand what it means for us to live a good life, to find purpose, to do what we are here for.
Of course, there are going to be some people that won’t agree with us. People that just hate everything or people that just hate us. That’s normal, that’s human. Not pretty, but that’s the way it works.
And if you aren’t convinced by now let me try another way. If you think all the time about yourself and what others might think of you, what do you imagine all the other people do at the same time? Right. They wonder about themselves and what others, including you, might think of them. So there isn’t a lot of time for them to think about you.
Maybe your new business idea sucks, maybe your hair looks bad today, or maybe that new dress makes you look pale. But who the hell cares? You are the only one who cares. And if others don’t like it, it’s their problem. But wait, they have their own problems. So, who the hell cares? Stop holding yourself back. Stop wondering, stop fearing, stop taking yourself so seriously. Just enjoy your life with whatever hair and dress and ideas and experiences and all the other stuff you like. Because that’s what it is all about.
Feel good, do what makes you happy and enjoy.
Still not convinced? I’ve got one more. Instead of wondering what others might think and expecting the worst, just ask them. And it doesn’t matter what they say. Maybe they hate it, maybe they love it, and maybe they don’t care about it at all. Whatever their answer is, you can move on. You don’t have to think and wonder anymore.
So to recap: Nobody cares about you, everyone is occupied with themselves, and when in doubt, just ask. It’s as simple as that to make some space in your head to think about much more important things.