How many people do you know that have something they want to change but just don’t do it? Instead, they are moaning about it all the time. I hate my job. I want to live healthier. I want to travel more. I want to stop smoking. All the things they want to do but don’t do it.
All these sentences are followed by a big, fat but. I hate my job, but I wouldn’t get another one. I want to live healthier, but healthy food is too expensive, and I don’t like to cook. I want to travel more, but I don’t have enough money. I want to stop smoking, but I can’t because I am addicted.
No matter the problem, there are several reasons not to change it. Better to just keep on moaning about it. Poor, poor me. The world is against me and because of reason X, Y, and Z I can’t change what seems to bother me so much.
But once you stop whining you can start to realize that the reason you aren’t changing anything is fear. The only reason there ever really is fear.
Of course, we have a lot of rational reasons we tell ourselves and others. But in the end it comes down to fear.
First, we are afraid of losing something. And who likes to lose something? So it’s a pretty good reason. And with every change, there will be lost. We won’t see our dear colleagues anymore, we won’t be able to eat cake every day, we won’t be in our comfy apartment we love so much, we won’t have our little breaks from our daily routine anymore. That’s right. You are going to lose some things.
Second, there is the process we are fearing. It’s not like we are going to say we quit our job, eat healthier, travel more, stop smoking, and it just happens. That would be wonderful, but sadly we don’t work that way. Instead, there is a whole process we have to go trough to make it happen. If we want the change to happen, we have to put in the work.
And thirdly there is the fear of the outcome. Sounds silly at first because why would we be fearful of the outcome? Because we never really know what will happen. Maybe our next job will be even worse. Or our body reacts badly to our new diet. Or traveling kind of sucks. Or not smoking keeps us from meeting our friends outside for some minutes a day.
So there are a lot of things we can be afraid of. And these are all valid reasons to be fearful. But still, fear shouldn’t keep us from doing anything. If fear is, like it most of the time is, the only reason for not doing or changing anything then we should do everything we can to overcome it.
Once we realize that it’s only the fear that is holding us back it gets easier. If you know your enemy, you can fight it.
So next time you start having reason after reason for not doing something hold on for a moment and realize that it is only your fear. Realize what you are afraid of and work with your fear. When you welcome it as the protective help it is, you can tell your fear that you won’t need it at the moment.
And instead of focusing on the bad things that could happen you now can start focusing on the positive sides. What great things could happen if you succeed. You could find a job that better suits your life, you could feel amazing, fit and healthy, you could see all the beautiful places the world has to offer, and you could be a great role model for your peers that want to quit smoking.
There is an infinite amount of possibilities how you can change your life. How you can become the person, you want to be and to live the life you desire to live. And the only thing that’s holding you back is your fear. Stop hiding behind all the other reasons. Recognize your fear, welcome its help and start to find ways to become the you that you want to be.